Calming the Storm Within — Parts Work and Emotional Regulation in EMDR

Posted: August 6, 2025

Staying Grounded: How Parts Work Supports Emotional Regulation During EMDR

EMDR is a powerful tool for trauma reprocessing, but any EMDR therapist will tell you that it’s not always smooth sailing.

Clients can suddenly feel overwhelmed, shut down, or flooded with emotion during the process. These intense reactions often come from “parts” of the self that are not yet ready to focus on the memory we have selected, or that feel threatened by the memory being activated.

This is where parts work becomes an essential complement to EMDR, offering practical, client-centered strategies to support emotional regulation throughout the reprocessing process.

Why Emotional Regulation Is Non-Negotiable

For many people, especially those with developmental trauma or attachment wounding, the ability to stay present during EMDR can feel fragile. Even when a part of you appears ready, there may be other parts within your internal system that may not be on the same page.

When we push ahead without adequate regulation, we risk:

Flooding the system with activation
Triggering protector parts to shut the process down
Reinforcing a sense of helplessness or fear of losing control

By weaving in parts work, we work collaboratively with your internal system, honoring the work that parts have done for so long to help you survive.

How Parts Work Enhances Regulation in EMDR

Let’s look at a few specific ways parts work supports nervous system regulation and emotional balance throughout the EMDR process:

Identifying the Activated Part

When you feel flooded with emotion, we pause and ask: Which part is feeling this?

Often, it’s not the adult self—it’s a younger part, a wounded part, or a protective part reacting to the memory or even the therapeutic relationship itself.

Once that part is identified, we can:

Acknowledge it
Resource it
Slow down the process to match its tolerance level

This often brings immediate relief.

Establishing Self-to-Part Relationship

Rather than trying to "calm down" from the outside, we support you in relating to the part that is activated.

“Can you check in with the part that’s feeling panicked?”
“Is there a way your adult self might comfort or sit with that part?”

This self-to-part relationship is regulating because it activates your adult Self—a grounded, compassionate internal leader that can help your own system feel safer.

Using the Meeting Place as a Resourcing Tool

As introduced in our last post, the “meeting place” provides a consistent internal location to orient to when you feel lost in activation.

From there, clients can:

Move a part into a calm space
Offer grounding tools (like weighted blankets, music, or imagery)
Invite a co-regulating internal figure (protector, mentor, even the therapist’s presence)

This imagery-based regulation supports your nervous system from within, rather than relying solely on external strategies.

Working with Protectors, Not Against Them

Emotional overwhelm is often the signal of a protector part stepping in—not out of defiance, but out of fear that you won't be able to tolerate the pain.

By respecting and building trust with protector parts, we shift the therapeutic frame:

From frustration… “Why are you blocking this memory?”
To compassion… “What are you worried will happen if this memory is processed?”

That shift opens space for negotiation, safety, and eventual collaboration.

Using parts work within EMDR creates a more resilient, responsive container for healing—one that doesn’t rush or override the system’s wisdom.

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Next in the Series: Working with Exiles and Protectors: Healing the Protective System in Trauma Recovery